Wednesday, October 13, 2010

New 'Mormon' Rules

Not that I’m a fan of Bill Maher, or would recommend viewing his heretical show on HBO every Friday night at 10pm, but I’ve heard that the weekly show is always closed by a segment titled, “New Rules.” So, in the humble spirit of Internet idea 'borrowing', I’d like to introduce my very own, “New -Mormon- Rules.”

Rule #1 –
At any one time, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles should have at least one really old, loose-cannon Apostle, like J. Golden Kimball was in his era. Think of how Conference media coverage would increase dramatically if an occasional Conference talk was so far removed from reality that it just blows people's minds. The exposure we'd receive would be huge!

The downside, of course, is if it's too far out there, the Church might have to quickly edit the talk, and then publish a long apology and explanation that said talk was completely misunderstood and that we really don't support those ideas as a Church.

Rule #2 -
For LDS Men: If you've been sealed to more than one wife, you should be required to wear a wedding band for each wife that you're sealed to, whether they've passed away, or not. Single women in the Church should know what they're getting themselves into and avoid the awkward meeting of unknown wives in the Celestial Kingdom. "It will all just work itself out," doesn't cut it where celestial polygamy is involved. Women have a right to know who their sister-wives will be.


  1. I wouldn't mind a few extra wives that could help me with the housework and cooking. (as long as i got the chance to pick WHO the other wives were going to be.)

  2. The Everyday Housewife...NOW THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

  3. Everyday - I'm sure there'd be a lot of give-and-take with any new wife selection ;-)

  4. That made me laugh out loud.