Friday, September 25, 2009

Ward Suggestion Box

It looks like the theme of this week's suggestion box entries is 'luxury accommodations' at the Ward building. I'm not sure about some of these, so we may have to put them to a vote in PEC meeting this Sunday. I'd put the items to the vote of the full Ward Council, but I'm fairly certain I already know which way the ladies would vote on most of the below items, and I'd like to skip any uncomfortable debates.

  • Install deer jerky dispensers in each hallway. Every season our Ward hunters harvest tons of deer and elk meat. What better way to encourage others to join in thinning the local deer population than sharing the blessed bounty of the hunts. The dispensers would be locked on F&T Sundays.

  • Install bidets in the bathrooms - experience that 'just-showered' freshness anytime at Church. Feeling a little sweaty down below from sitting in wool pants on a warm seat for two hours? Swing into the restroom for a quick under-carriage refresher!

  • Dark pull-down shades on the classroom windows. As a teacher I'm afraid the kids are having a hard time seeing media presentations in such a bright room. Note: I think that this may be just to enhance the 'meditation' by the teacher during these 'media presentations.' Been there, done that.

  • Add, as an addition to the perks for the Uber-Tithers, 'Magic Fingers' chair massagers that can be carried from room-to-room (by the non-full-tithers).

    1. I think the dark pull-down shades may cause suspicions from parents of the youth. I know I would be creeped out if I was in a certain Brother's Sunday School class and I was engulfed in darkness for "movietime". The new "team" teacher thing is supposed to be helping in this area, but I have found that most teachers that have a teammate, often decide to go on vacation every other week. Any suggestions for how we are going to solve this problem?

    2. My suggestion: Clickers for everyone to vote for their favorite testimonies on Fast and Storymony meeting. You know, like the audience has on game shows or America's Favorite Videos. Or just people could just text the bishop from their cell phone. If you don't get enough votes you can't get up again next month!

    3. Welcome to