Friday, March 13, 2009

BYU announces two new classes for Fall '09- GA Preparation

Staring in the Fall, BYU will enhance its religious instructions to include two classes for General Authority Preparation (GA Prep 401 and 402). Sorry Sisters, these are Brethren-only classes.

According to BYU Religious Professor Boyd P. Laker, "We felt that the Missionary Prep classes were very successful in preparing our students to enter the mission field. In this spirit, we thought that additional post-mission preparation would be helpful for those who believe they might be on-track to be a future General Authority."

For those young men who feel that they might meet the pre-requisites (* see below), here's a topic overview of the two classes:

GA Prep 401
  • Selecting the right color of black or dark blue suit
  • Approved haircuts (a two minute lecture)
  • How to match scripture cover to shoe and belt color (a.k.a - GA accessorizing)
  • How to select the proper necktie color and knot
  • How to avoid loud laughter and the appearance of evil
  • How to look sincere while reading from a teleprompter
  • Remembering small details of service you performed in your early years
  • Which celebrities are really Mormons - cutting through the myths
  • Proper voice intonation
  • GA Family Tree (all seven branches explored)

    GA Prep 402
  • How to scorn sinners with a loving smile
  • Parallels in managing Utah legislation and the Wizard of Oz
  • How to support Mitt Romney
  • Catholics, an Historical Review - from Church-of-the-Devil to Fellow-Crusaders-Against-Gay-Marriages
  • Mark Hoffman - test of faith
  • How to cut down and carve a cherry tree that your grandfather planted to make a podium
  • Temple Square underground tunnel navigation course
  • Polygamy - celestial requirement, or eager-beaver Pioneers
  • J. Golden Kimball - lessons in constructive and creative swearing

  • *Pre-requisites - High spirituality test, scripture recital of all seminary and mission scriptures, temple recommend, very little hair, 6'0"+ preferred, bonus points for Utah native or professional sports-hopefuls.

    **non-US citizens can apply, but will only be accepted on a strictly 1% ratio to US natives.

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