Staring in the Fall, BYU will enhance its religious instructions to include two classes for General Authority Preparation (GA Prep 401 and 402). Sorry Sisters, these are Brethren-only classes.
According to BYU Religious Professor Boyd P. Laker, "We felt that the Missionary Prep classes were very successful in preparing our students to enter the mission field. In this spirit, we thought that additional post-mission preparation would be helpful for those who believe they might be on-track to be a future General Authority."
For those young men who feel that they might meet the pre-requisites (* see below), here's a topic overview of the two classes:
GA Prep 401Selecting the right color of black or dark blue suit
Approved haircuts (a two minute lecture)
How to match scripture cover to shoe and belt color (a.k.a - GA accessorizing)
How to select the proper necktie color and knot
How to avoid loud laughter and the appearance of evil
How to look sincere while reading from a teleprompter
Remembering small details of service you performed in your early years
Which celebrities are really Mormons - cutting through the myths
Proper voice intonation
GA Family Tree (all seven branches explored)
GA Prep 402
How to scorn sinners with a loving smile
Parallels in managing Utah legislation and the Wizard of Oz
How to support Mitt Romney
Catholics, an Historical Review - from Church-of-the-Devil to Fellow-Crusaders-Against-Gay-Marriages
Mark Hoffman - test of faith
How to cut down and carve a cherry tree that your grandfather planted to make a podium
Temple Square underground tunnel navigation course
Polygamy - celestial requirement, or eager-beaver Pioneers
J. Golden Kimball - lessons in constructive and creative swearing*Pre-requisites - High spirituality test, scripture recital of all seminary and mission scriptures, temple recommend, very little hair, 6'0"+ preferred, bonus points for Utah native or professional sports-hopefuls.
**non-US citizens can apply, but will only be accepted on a strictly 1% ratio to US natives.
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