Well, this past Monday I took my own advice and headed to Costco with my wife for FHE. To my shock (and initial horror), we found a kind, older Sister dishing up SPAM for a sample. And if you're thinking that she must have been one lonely sample lady with no takers, you'd be sadly mistaken. The table was packed with SPAM fans. They couldn't get that steaming, greasy mystery-meat into their mouths fast enough!Then the inspiration hit me: food storage, baby! I once heard that the only things that would survive a nuclear blast are cockroaches and SPAM. This sounds perfect for some emergency food, and upon carefully inspecting the label I knew this was truly a whispering of the Spirit.
In one teeny-tiny can of SPAM, you have all of the daily caloric needs of a fully-grown adult. And as a bonus, you get enough sodium for an entire week. Low cost, high caloric and fat content, in a sealed metal can - it might as well of had a glowing halo around it. So, build your storage up now before the FDA steps in!
Just watching the sample lady preparing that juicy SPAM brought back memories of my childhood. Those luscious lumps of pink meat getting shaken out of the can accompanied by that sucking sound as all the SPAM jelly is displaced. We'd cut that tender pile of goodness into 1-inch think slabs and fry those little babies up. Mmmmm... SPAM memories.
The only problem with this advice, Bishop, is that food storage is supposed to save you, not kill you!
ReplyDeleteA paradox, indeed. Take it from one who ate plenty of MREs in a foxhole with Paul Dunn, I would have given my left, um... pinky, to have had a high-fat comfort food like SPAM - jelly and all. In fact, if it really came down to eating a two-year supply of food, there's probably little reason you'd want to live through it, anyway.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, this puts something cheap on your shelves for the next surprise visit by the "Ward Preparation Specialist." No offense, Sister Bushman.
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ReplyDeleteSo glad I'm not the only SPAM-lover on the Net! I've been living on the stuff for years and can't say enough good things about Hormel or its meats. Sometimes I'll leave a can open on the counter overnight to fight cat odors that sometimes overwhelm my apartment. Take care and God bless.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as one who raises cattle and sells beef to my neighbors, friends and anyone who loves great home grown corn feed beef, I love SPAM burgers after church. Come home fire up the BBQ and let the great order of grilled SPAM feel the air. It drives all my neighbors crazy with envy.
ReplyDeleteJeffrey - I've never tried SPAM on the BBQ. I've had reservations about high-fat content food on the BBQ ever since I nearly caught my house on fire trying to BBQ bacon-wrapped asparagus. Perhaps it's time to venture back into these waters.
ReplyDeleteDear Bishop Young,
ReplyDeleteMother and I thought for sure we saw your family at Costco Monday evening. Ever since reading your last entry we have purchased several SPAM items on the internet but none of the items looked like what you describe. Is there another kind of SPAM I should be aware of? Thanks.
Ricky
PS--Did you know that SPAM spelled backwards is MAPS? As Mr. Nash might ask, "Is there a secret message here?"