Thursday, April 23, 2009

Monthly Message, or Massage?

I have to give props to Brother Hicks - being a newer member of the Church isn't always easy. There are so many concepts to learn and he's trying his best to fulfill all of his commitments. As a High Priest, he was asked to home teach a couple of older single Sisters. However, there seems to have been a misunderstanding in this responsibility.

Brother Hicks came well-prepared for the visits with baby oil and a couple of towels. After a friendly introduction, he got right to business delivering the monthly massage, much to the initial surprise and shock of the Sisters. Not to mention his young companion, Bobby Miller. Brother Hicks just figured that the surprises resulted from lack of consistent visits in the past, and assured the Sisters that he was prepared and willing to deliver every month.

Now, when I first heard about this, I was struck with fear that these Sisters would not be coming back to Church, or they would file formal charges against Brother Hicks - but it's been the exact opposite. Not only have the Sisters expressed their thanks for their new Home Teacher's enthusiasm, but I've now had four other single Sisters (and two not-so-single Sisters) request Brother Hicks as their Home Teacher.

Brother Harris, on the other hand, requested to not have Brother Hicks visit him anymore.

Keep up the good work, Brother Hicks!


  1. Dear Bishop,

    I would also like to request to have Brother Hicks as my H.T. A monthly massage would be heavenly. Thank you very much

    Sister Smartypants

  2. Dearest, dearest Bishop Young,
    I hate to keep bringing this up, but there is definitely a discrepancy between the treatment of the men and women in our ward. We sisters would never get away with giving this kind of "message" when we visit teach. However, I would still like to add my name to the growing list of requests to have Brother Hicks as my home teacher as well. I've got a kink in my neck from climbing up the new nursery equipment to fetch children that don't want to go home with their parents. I don't want this to sound like blackmail, but I'm going to put in my resignation as Assistant Nursery Leader if you don't move me to the top of Bro. Hicks list ASAP.

    Many thanks!

  3. Well, to say Brother Hick's popularity is on the rise would be a vast understatement. After some meditation during a personal visit with Brother Hicks, this is what we can propose.

    In light of Brother Hick's recently unemployed status, he's willing to perform many more Home Teaching visits. If the members are already assigned to another Home Teacher, he'll honor my previous recommendation of $10/visit.

    Here's the real beauty - the person that pays to have Brother Hicks do his home teaching, can keep the blessings! Yup, you heard right! Brother Hicks currently needs money more than postponed blessings. If you're requesting Brother Hicks, just tell your current Home Teacher who in my experience will gladly fork over $10/month not to do the teaching themselves, while still getting blessing-credits.

    It's a win-win!

    Always thinking of my flock,

    Bishop Young

  4. Dearest Bishop,

    Thanks for being so thoughtful towards those under your stewardship. I hope you don't mind my 'sneaking into the ward' when I live hundreds of miles away from Spanish Fork. I just am so inspired by you as a Bishop that I had to be in your care.

    Sister Smartypants

  5. Sister Smarty - all are welcome! We're glad that you've joined the Ward. Any chance of taking a Nursery calling?

    Bishop Young