Fundamentalist Self-Check

Within the diverse LDS culture there are varying degrees of beliefs and practices. One classification that Mormons can fall under is, 'fundamentalist.' While it may be that this classification normally infers some multi-wife practices, that's not the only way to reach this level of 'commitment.'

So, for those of you wondering whether, or not, you might be viewed by Gentiles as a fundamentalist, I decided to create the following self-check list of items. Generally, if you can answer to the affirmative on greater than three of the following, chances are, you'd be considered a fundamentalist (among other things) by those that know you:

You actually use the word, 'Gentile,' under any circumstance other than reading directly from the Bible.

When reading last summer about the raid on the FLDS compound in Texas, did you find yourself thinking, "Those poor men. Why can't the government just get off their backs and leave them alone!"

Do you have a five year supply of food, water, fuel, and ammo in a backyard bunker?

Do you have a license to operate a HAM radio? 1/2 pt. if you even know what a HAM radio is.

Do you have a concealed-weapons permit, or even believe it's a right to carry a handgun to Church?

Does your van still sport the bumper sticker, "Bo Gritz - God, Guns, and Gritz!"

As a Scout Master, did you feel that the Wilderness Survival merit badge should include a 10-day survival trial by the Scout, instead of just one night?

Do you have trouble sleeping at night at the thought of your graduating child attending the increasingly-liberal BYU, instead of continuing their home schooling?

You'd rather talk about a New World Order than listen to New Order

Do you refuse to engage in loud laughter and look down your nose at those who do?

You sincerely believe that no man has yet to walk on the moon and no man shall ever do so.

Postum and hot chocolate are against the word of wisdom because they are "hot drinks."

And the big one - You're convinced that Polygamy will indeed make a glorious comeback, and you've already picked out a few eligible young ladies to proposition?

Do you have any further additions to the list? Please share in the comments!

Your always loving,

Bishop Mike T. Young