Friday, May 22, 2009

New Ward Newsletter

As many of you noticed last Sunday, we have a new Ward Newsletter that is a departure from those snooze-fests of the past. As the new Newsletter editor, Sister Farley decided to shake things up a bit, which has been met with mixed reviews of praise, and well, not so much praise. The members are mostly split by age groups in their opinions, with 60 being the magical pro-con differentiator.

Some of the feedback:

  • "The kids loved the dot-to-dot page revealing a picture of Job covered with lesions - very creative!" - Sister Wen
  • "The 'Approved New Media List' is very helpful! I hate trying to make my own decisions on products released from Satan & Co's Hollywood. However, I disagree with your inclusion of Twilight on the approved list. Anything mentioning vampires and love has to be bad news. Deseret Books recent decision to pull it from their shelves is as clear of a message as a warning straight from a GA's mouth." - Sister Gilly
  • "The 'Good News Corner' left me feeling very un-blessed. Where's my trip to France? I've only been 'blessed' this year with non-stop screaming twins and a ticket from my husband to Monster Truck Madness. Yippee..." - Sister Luten
  • "The new 'Sponsored By' section with ads from Mr. Mac, Pampers and Chevy extended-cab vans seemed weird to me." - Brother Pratt
  • "The 'Celestial Casserole' section for recipes is a great idea. I had no idea there were so many accepted variants of 'Shepherd's Pie.' - Sister Keils
  • "I hate the 'Awkward Ward Pictures' section! Who wants to see a backyard shot of Brother Hamm sunbathing while only wearing a banana hammock? Sick and wrong!" - Brother Wright

    1. I agree that Twilight should be banned from the approved list. Reading the book made me think adulterous thoughts about Edward. By the way, Bishop, I've been thinking I need to come in for an interview about that one!

    2. Dear Bishop Young,

      Would it be possible to add a "Lost and Found" section to your newsletter? As mother and I were driving around Spanish Fork in our 1956 F100 Ford Pickup (needs work)looking for your ward building our 3-year-old pet pit bull, "Friendly" jumped out the back of the truck near Albertson's. Please put the following ad in your next newsletter:

      Lost: 85 lb pit bull in the Albertson grocery store area. Color is white with black spots. Head appears to be bricklike with strong vice lock jaws. Loves children and older people. Goes by the name of "Friendly" and may be dragging a heavy metal chain with large steel links. "Friendly" loves to be petted but individuals may want to wear boxing gloves for added protection.

      Please let mother and me know if someone steps forward and finds our dog. The house is way too quiet without him.

      Mother says to say "hey!"